Happy is he who is happy at home

Happy is he who is happy at home

Yesterday my wife and I were putting things up on our walls. We had taken everything down a couple years ago when we were doing some remodeling and we felt two years was long enough – it was time to put some pictures and things back up that had been stored in our basement. One of the things was a piece of pottery art that had these words on it:

Fericit este acea, ce e

Fericit la el acasa.

This was something we picked up in Moldova way back in 2004 when my family went on a mission trip to spend a week sharing the love of Christ to a group of orphans in the back country in the heart of the poorest country in Europe. Our group, my family and other co-laborers in the gospel spent a week playing, crafting, blowing bubbles, playing soccer, drawing with sidewalk chalk, sharing Bible stories with a big group of children who probably ranged in age from 8 years to 15 years old. We laughed together and we cried together and by weeks end we had learned to love these precious children, and they loved us back.

That week in the summer of 2004 was life changing.

And here I am 17 years later at 3 AM, unable to sleep, thinking about those kids, wondering where they are today and how they are doing. But I am also thinking about myself – what have I done with my own life since then? What have I done with the gospel over the course of the 17 years since this life changing thing that I experienced? Have I made a difference for Jesus? Or have I simply existed, caught up in the movement of humanity going to work, coming home, mowing the grass, eating supper, sleeping and then doing it again and again? Have I lived my life as an ant marching like all the other ants, the week ends, the week begins?

Maybe.

But here I sit. It’s 3 AM and I must be lonely. The rest of my little universe is asleep and I sit here pondering on the meaning of it all, my purpose and what I am going to do about it. Say a prayer for this lonely, sleepy soul. I am doing the same right here, right now as I peer out my window into the blackness.

To be continued…………

Terry

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. – James 1:22

This Quiet Time

Dear God:

Hey, it’s me.  Terry.  I’m sorry I have spoken with You in a long while – at least not in the written form.  Please forgive me for that.  I recognize who you are and who I am and how we are connected.  It all has to do with creation.  You’re the Creator, I am your creation.  But I’ve missed writing to you, because when I do it helps me to put these thoughts that swirl around in my mind in perspective.  I need that. I have missed that.

But here I am now – sitting alone with you on my deck watching the sun sink below the horizon.  Oh, how I love to see you in nature – in the sunrise, in the sunset, in the phases of the moon, in the alignment of Mars, Saturn and Jupiter.  I saw you last evening and early this morning in the weather and that was sometimes frightening, but mostly it was awesome.  You are awesome God – I am in awe when I take the time to sit and reflect on you.

And I want to do that more God.  I want to sit and reflect on you and speak to you.  But mostly I want to be still and listen to you.  You have made me in a certain way God.  While you have created me to be a good listener, you’ve also created me to be moving most of the time.  Sitting still is not something that comes naturally to me, because when I do, I fall asleep.  You’re chuckling at me, now aren’t you?  It’s Ok, everybody else does too and that is OK by me.

God, you know what I am thankful for right now don’t you?  I am thankful for this quiet time with you.  And I have not come to you to talk about this virus, but allow me to say the virus is part of the reason I have this quiet time available right now.  My wife is not working right now and she is getting to spend extra time with her mother and sister.  That’s a blessing to her.  She is with them right now so here on my deck it’s just you and me and my dog Cooper.  Just the three of us.  So, while the virus if wreaking havoc on our health and our economy, it’s also giving us the benefit of quiet time either with family or with you.  So, thank you for this quiet time.

And God I am thankful for my family.  For my wife, for my children, for those they love, for my mother in law and sister in law.  I am thankful for my brothers and sisters.  I thank you for them in my life right now and what they mean to me.  You have blessed me with the best family in this whole wide world because they love me and each other and we can share a good laugh and even a good cry together.  I love them God.

And then there’s my friends God.  You know how much I need them right now and you have blessed me abundantly with them.  Friends I can text, friends I can call, friends I can run with, friends I can ruck with, friends I can workout with.  With the chaos that is around me it’s my close friends who get me through.  Sometimes it’s a word of encouragement, sometimes it’s a goofy picture, sometimes it’s simply a bit of time for us to spend together.  Sometimes it’s sharing a song or being in nature with them.  I love them God.  I need them God.  Thank you!

But mostly, the reason I am writing to you now is to tell you that I love you, God.  I realize you know that, but I have a need to tell you.  It’s times like this while sitting still and watching the sunset, watching Venus appear brightly, feeling Cooper’s cold nose on my leg, getting a text from a friend – it’s these times that I know how very much you love me God.  Love is all we need God.  I should go write a song, huh?  So, there you go – I love you God.

Now I will close this epistle.  Even though there’s so much more that I could say, I’ve said enough.  Now is the time for me to be still – and listen.  Speak to me God.

Your Creation,

Terry

The Wanderer

Is this all there is,
the Wanderer asked
as he began his ascent
up the mountain.

There was no response.

Onward he trod
With his bulky pack
He noticed the gray sky
The heavy clouds

Trees were transforming
Into their fall foliage
The trail was steep, rocky, dirty
Under the canopy

Silence ruled the trek as the Wanderer trod ahead.

Is this all there is,
The Wanderer thought
Not daring to ask
Out loud again

The trail, now steeper,
Rockier, dirtier
His heart pounding
The Wanderer trod ahead.

The maple exploded
In shades of red
As a rogue ray of sun
Radiated on her.

The Wanderer paused
He listened to the silence
His heart beat was deafening
Amid the noiseless morn.

Silence ruled the trek as the Wanderer trod ahead

There it was
The summit beckoning
The Wanderer along
The breeze called his name

The trail, ever steeper,
Ever ruttier,
ever challenging
finally terminated.

The Wanderer gasped
For air, sipped water,
Sat with his
Head on his knees

The Wanderer sat still gathering himself

He stood slowly
Steadying himself
On the rocky
Pinnacle…and he gazed.

Fog below, white and misty
Clouds above – gray and heavy
Mountains ahead
Tall, blue, proud.

No words were necessary
To describe the beauty
“Those words have not been invented yet”
The Wanderer thought

The only sound to be heard
Was the breeze that stirred
A rush of senses
Colors,
Smells,
Silence

The wonder of it all

The Wander’s question was answered

PEACE above the veil of fog
PEACE below the heavy clouds

PEACE in the Wanderer’s beating heart.

The Wanderer trod ahead.

I Hear

Mikie, along with Jenny

On July 18, 2018 a very tragic thing happened in my family.  My brother-in-law Mikie was killed in a house fire.  See the picture of Mikie above doing one of the things he loved to do – hang out on a golf cart with his beloved dog Jenny.  Jenny now lives with us and Mikie has moved on to his next adventure with his Creator in eternity.

This tragedy has obviously hit my family hard.

Life for his survivors has been busy with taking care of his funeral, insurance, Jenny, and many other details.  My own grieving has taken a back seat to all of this activity, but it’s there all the same and needs to be expressed and dealt with.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to read my second poem in public at Taste Full Beans Coffeehouse in Hickory, NC.  My poem deals with the day of July 18, 2018 from the stand point of many of the things I heard on that day.

That day started out normal and ended in a “not normal” state.  In the poem I chose not to mention Gary Michael Martin – Mikie – by name but he’s there all the same.  Pray for my family and take a few moments to read my second ever poem.

I Hear [At Day’s End}
The 2nd Poem by Ben Johnson

The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises. Ecc 1:5
The day begins as it always does
Silent, then the train whistle blows
5 miles away, before the sun rose
On another day on this planet

Sitting quietly, the clock ticks away
Watching nothing on tv
As Cooper sighs
Stretched out on the couch
Like one of the guys

Then clanging, and laughing
The sounds of friends
Laughing, talking of nothing
Steel in their hands
In hopes of better days
Their clock is ticking

The desk, the screen
They don’t talk back
It’s lonely here, just them and me
The clock ticks away
The long road home
On a busy boulevard
Of lonely dreams

[[[No thing is as it seems
No sound could be heard
Above the screams]]]

A friend, a deck
Oh what the heck
Words of the day
The clock strikes eight
It’s getting late
Alone again
Voices down below
Hello sir, anyone home?
Just me and the pooch
I greet the strangers
Clad in Blue, carrying steel
With troubled looks on their face
And not a trace
Of a smile
But warm and careful
Their words made no sense
Fire, Smoke, Danger, Gone

As the clock ticked on
Into the night
I’m trying to fight
Back the tears
How could this be?
Her voice as sweet as ever
On the phone, then she is home
It changes quickly with the news
Disbelief, what did you say?
It can’t be this way
No, not today
Not him, not now,
Oh how will I tell her?

A prayer from a friend

The sun rose on this day
Far away
The sun set as it always does
But nothing was the same
Nor ever will be
You see….well….he..
The words won’t come
The Phone, the voices, the tears
the clock ticks on
Rest well, my friend
At Day’s end.

I See

Last night I outed myself – as a poet!  OK, I can hear you all laughing already but I am quite serious about this.  Taste Full Beans in Hickory NC hosted a poetry reading event in which they had a guest poet who read from her new book and talked about the process of writing the various pieces she read.  Then they had an open mic time when folks like me and others had a 3 minute opportunity to read our own work.  I read a poem I had written a long time ago – 5 hours ago to be somewhat precise!  And so began this new part of my life.

For a long time I have wanted to write poetry and I just didn’t do it for one reason or another.  But committing myself to the open mic night, then writing my first poem was liberating for me.  I have these words and thoughts that I have felt the need to share, and now I have begun to do it.

Before you read my poem, please know that I know very little about poetry.  I’ve heard of and read sonnets, limericks, haikus, free verse poems.  I know little about them but I have heard of them.  I know nothing of pentameters.  I’ve read Shakespeare, Browning, Silverstein, Seuss and of course my favorite, Robert Frost.  If I had to pick a favorite poem I would say “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Frost.  And “Ode On A Grecian Urn” by Keats is a favorite.

My mother thought a poem was not a poem unless it rhymed.  I know that rhyming is not a requisite of poetry, but you will note that I included some rhymin’ as a nod to my mother.  And my rhyme is irregular and my syllables are unbalanced and my grammar probably is lacking – but these words come from my heart and in my universe that makes it all OK.

And here’s the point of my rather simple poem – I see poetry in creation, nature, people, animals, voices, relationships, running.  I see poetry in life.  And I have begun the process of recording the poetry that my Creator allows me to see.

And finally – I have adopted the shortened version of my first name as my pen name.

Here you go:

“I See” by Ben Johnson

I see poetry
In the crescent moon
With Venus by her side
As dawn was waking the sky

I see poetry
As Cooper tilts his head
His nostrils flared wide
“Let’s play ball”, he says, ears lifted high

I see poetry
In a baby’s tender hand
Squeezing my finger
As a yawn calls him to slumber

I see poetry
As I summit the peak
Legs all trembly and weak
With views no words can describe

I see poetry
Says man to his Creator
Who made him able to see
To love, to hold, to run…..to Be.

I see.

 

Green Grass & High Tides

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.   He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. – Psalm 23:1-2

The year was 1975 – if you know me you will know that was a big year for me.  I graduated from Hickory High School that year.  I drove a ’66 Volkswagen Beetle that was a pure hunk of junk, but it was mine and I loved that car.  It was in that car, I am most certain, that I first heard a song that is still ringing in my ears 42 years later.  I would have the radio on WROQ and they played rock ‘n roll – especially album cuts that you didn’t hear elsewhere.  And even if the station came through with a good dose of static, I heard this song with clarity.

Green Grass & High Tides became a rock anthem of sorts for me.  I bought the album and played it over and over on my console stereo at 33-1/3 rpm.  I would play it while ironing my shirt for a date I had that night.  I would play it in the late hours while studying for a Algebra II test.  In my Beetle I would randomly find it on the radio, but in my room I would find it purposefully on my console stereo.  The song has a couple long guitar solos that bring it in at close to 10 minutes long.

Green grass and high tides forever
Castles of stone, souls and glory
Lost faces say we adore you
As kings and queens bow and play for you

– from Green Grass & High Tides by The Outlaws

But today I find that I’m ironing my shirt for church.  The console stereo has long since gone.  My copy of the Outlaws album is either in the basement gathering dust or in my son’s home in Bahama, NC.  My ’66 Beetle was totaled many years ago.  Nobody knows what an LP is or much less what 33-1/3 means.   But the heart of rock ‘n roll is still beating in my heart (with a nod to Huey Lewis).  I still love this song and its lyrics and especially those long guitar solos.  But today there are other words that are eternally more important.

Psalm 23 speaks directly to my soul – I bet it does to yours as well.   When I hear of green grass, I want to go lie down in a green pasture – He maketh us to do so.  As I type these words I am looking out the window and seeing green grass without the pasture, and blue skies.  And I am pulled out there and I want to lie down there and I want to feel the gentle breeze and watch the white, puffy clouds change shapes.  And while there I want to speak to my Creator and tell Him how much I love Him and guess what – He tells me back.  I feel it in the warmth of the sunshine and the gentleness of the breeze and in the sounds of nature around me.  These words speaks directly to my soul.

And there, my soul is restored.

In these days of work, hustle and bustle, running, appointments, things to plan, plans to follow through on, places to be, people to see – in these days my Creator calls for me to do what He “maketh me” to do.  Lie in a green pasture, speak with Him, listen to Him….and be restored.  And when my soul is restored I want to get up, shout Amen!, then go and do what He is calling me quite loudly to do – for Him.

Challenge:  Give Green Grass & High Tides a listen.  Make sure you’ve got 10 minutes carved out so you can truly enjoy it all the way through.  Then read Psalm 23.  Then simply go do and go live what it says.  May your SOUL be restored.

With much love,

Ben (the author formerly known as Terry)

 

My Hero

Cherry Tomatoes Picked from Mr. John’s garden on 7/31/16

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when I walked in John’s room last night.  He had lost weight, appeared frail and looked just a bit confused when we walked in.  It took him a minute to realize who we were.  Then his eyes lit up and the old John was back.

John’s health is not good as he has fought illness, accidents and ailments for a while now.  But I am not here to talk about John’s health.  I want, instead, to speak of his life.  This is not intended to be his history on planet Earth, but instead will speak of my encounters with my hero John Carver.

First and foremost John will forever be known to me as Mr. John – a name he earned from the many years he spent as Royal Ambassador (RA) Director at First Baptist Hickory.    Many boys in our church spent their spiritual formative years under the Wednesday night leadership of Mr. John. One year the RAs buried a time capsule on the Boone Fork Trail while on a hike.  Several years ago the RAs went to look for that time capsule and were unsuccessful in locating it, even after calling Mr. John on the phone.  He was so excited that we were there looking for it. We buried our own time capsule and hope to be able to find it at some point in the future.  His ministry in RAs was making little disciples.

Mr. John had a passion for his wood ministry.  He cut down trees.  He gathered trees that had fallen in storms.  He brought them all to his property where he would gather the Baptist Men and the RAs  and split the wood.  Those days of wood splitting usually involved 20 or so RAs, 10 or so Baptist Men, dads, moms, GAs and others.  They involved 3 or 4 wood splitters that were running at the same time.  We would show up early for what looked like an impossible task, then 4 hours later we were done.  Those work days were the most satisfying work I have ever done.  And Mr. John made sure we had plenty of food and snacks for our break times!  His wood ministry involved providing warmth to those who needed it.  But his ministry really involved making disciples.

Mr. John has always loved having a garden and growing all sorts of vegetables.  He always had an abundance of tomatoes and greens which he freely and enthusiastically shared with many people.  Just this past summer my wife and I went over in the heat of a July day and picked cherry tomatoes which we enjoyed for many days to follow.  Everything that Mr. John did was a ministry to him – and his ministry in his garden was all about sharing and Love.

Mr. John built bird houses for and with his RAs.  He built RA race cars with his RAs.  He cut down and split trees with his RAs and others.  And Mr. John never took any credit for any of the acts of kindness that he did – he always gave credit to others and most frequently to his savior Jesus Christ.  Mr. John had his own way of speaking using the repetition of certain words of phrases.  And as I think of those words and of his sharing and of his love and of his ministries right now – the tears begin to well up in my eyes.

Mr. John has lived his faith better than anyone I can think of.  He loved.  He sacrificed his time, money, talents.  He prayed.  He gave and he never took any credit.  Mr. John didn’t have to speak of his faith, he simply lived it.

 

And last night when my wife and I were about to leave we said we wanted to offer up a prayer.  John insisted this own son John, Jr do the praying.  John Jr offered up the most amazing, heart felt prayer I could imagine.  And during the prayer Mr. John would offer up his agreement with a quiet Amen or a quiet sound of approval.  John Jr didn’t pray for his dad – instead he said how thankful they were that these two friends showed up to offer a time of fellowship with their dad.  And his prayer was spoken with such boldness that it was obvious these words were coming from his heart.  After we all said Amen I told John Jr that he was obviously his dad’s son.  Father and son beamed at my words.

Last night when Diane and I turned to leave from our visit with Mr. John, we had a lonely tear in our eyes.  We are better people, better citizens, better disciples because of our encounters with John Carver.  John Carver is my hero.

Terry

ps:  John Carver was also a runner. Not only did John run to and from work throughout his years, he also ran 15 marathons.  My hero.

What If . . . .

A good Friend went to a Christmas Eve Candlelight Service and wrote this about it:

During this past Christmas Eve service at a church I attended, we received a great analogy regarding the meaning of the candlelight service. Let me share.

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world.” (John 3:17) Yes! This is the reason we celebrate.

As the preacher made his way to light the Christ candle on the advent wreath he quotes, “The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.” (John 1:9) Now the candle is glowing. Then he takes his own personal candle and explains how accepting this gift is now living and glowing in him. We are told not to hold this light within us for ourselves but to share it with others.  “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” (Matthew 28:19) Wow! The whole place was filled with light!

**Those are the words my Friend wrote about his experience**

It goes along with these 2 words that I have been toying with….

What If……

• We actually loved the Lord with all our Heart, Soul and Mind
• We actually tithe 10% of our income to the Lord’s work
• We actually loved our neighbor as ourselves
• We Feed His sheep
• We actually put other people’s needs ahead of our own
• We Pray without ceasing
• We realize that the Lord really does have plans for us – and then find out what they are – and then have the Courage to act upon them
• We actually lie down in Green Pastures and receive physical and spiritual REST
• We realize that LOVE never fails
• We trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding
• We have no fear or are not dismayed, knowing that God is with us

• We work in our churches with a spirit of unity

• We actually HONORED our fathers and mothers
• We tell everyone we know about what Jesus Christ means to us
• We actually SURRENDERED ourselves to our King
• We raise our children in the way they should go
• We be STRONG and Courageous
• We by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, give our requests to God.
• We confess our sins to each other and pray for and with each other.  Do you know how special it is to pray WITH another person?
• We go to God when we are weary and burdened and allow Him to give us rest
• We think about things that are noble and lovely and true and right and pure
• We realize that NOTHING can separate us from the LOVE of Christ

• If we did these things……

• What would our families look like?
• What would our churches look like?
• What would our community look like?
• What would our movies, music and theaters look like?
• Can you imagine the PEACE that this planet would enjoy?
• Can you imagine the impact we could have on the HUNGRY and THIRSTY on this planet
• Can you imagine the KINGDOM building that would happen , if we only…

• Carried the LIGHT of Christ out into the world and share it with others.

The time is now.

The place is here.

It’s up to me and YOU.

Are we going to continue on with business as usual, or

Are we Actually going to carry the light of Christ out into this dark and lonely planet?

Thanks to Ben Johnston for sharing his Christmas Eve Candlelight Service experience with me.

Create in us, O God, a pure heart and renew your steadfast spirit within us.

Cooper’s Christmas Cheer

This morning Cooper and I were out early – I was running at 5:15am with my Granite Falls F3 Gang, so Coop and I were out at 4:20am for his morning constitutional.  He peed – does that well.  Then he led me around the back of the house and down into the woods toward the creek.  He would go this way, he would go that way and he would pull really hard on his leash to the point I almost fell several times.  He would sniff and circle around, but the poop I hoped for wasn’t happening.

So back up the hill to the side of our neighbor’s house.  He got into their bushes and just stood there.  It’s 4:35am and my poopless pooch was just standing there in my neighbor’s bushes looking down toward the woods behind our house.

And then I noticed it.  The QUIET.  An ever so gentle breeze.  Fog.  It was amazingly quiet and Cooper stood there breathing and taking it all in.

And that moment  IT hit me.  Christmas Cheer.  It came so quietly and so suddenly and so unexpectedly.  And I began to weep.

I imagine it was like that on the night that Jesus was born.  Dark, quiet, sudden…unexpected.  And on that night the angels rejoiced!  And I stood there weeping, Cooper’s leash in my hand.

Then my Caring Cooper jumped up as to say “What’s wrong, Master?  Why are you crying?”  He gently nudged my hands with his mouth.  I smiled and gave my Cooper a big HUG, along with a smile as I wiped the tears from my sleep deprived eyes.

Christmas Cheer came to me this morning – at approximately 4:35am while standing quietly in my neighbor’s bushes.  And Cooper pooped!

I love that dog. My Caring Cooper Cuddles and brings Christmas Cheer Quietly.

It will be a Merry Christmas!

Terry

 

 

Time Keeps on Slippin’, Slippin’, Slippin’…

Yesterday in my car on the way to and from work I had a couple of Rock ‘n Roll “Moments”.  The music on the radio was exactly in sync with my mood so I rolled with it, cranking it up quite loudly and singing along like true rocker.  The Steve Miller Band seemed to have what I needed, hearing “Fly Like An Eagle” on the drive in, and then “Jet Airliner” on the way home.  “Jet Airliner” just worked for me.  That song has just the right mix of synthesized sounds juxtaposed with Mr. Miller’s raw guitar riffs.  If you were anywhere near Lenoir, NC on Friday about 5:30pm then I am sure you heard me and Steve singing in tandem.

As if that didn’t seal the deal, the next song was “Rock and Roll” by Led Zeppelin.  I can’t imagine a more power filled song.  Zep has a song or two in my Top 20, not including this one but it was speaking to me in a powerful way on Friday.  By the time I got home I was pumped.  It got me thinking, yet again, which Rock ‘n Roll songs are in my Top 10.  The top spot belongs to Free Bird, but the other 9 are up for debate.  But in the end, when I do come up with my list, I reminded myself that it is MY list.  Not necessarily the Top 10 BEST songs, just my favorite.

But do you want to know what really gets me pumped?  What really Rocks my world?  It’s my relationship with the man Jesus.  The Son of God Jesus.  My Lord.  I claim to be a disciple, a Christ follower, a prayer warrior.  And I am, but unfortunately I FAIL my Lord on a daily basis.  I don’t like when I do that, but I just lose focus.  And then I make a connection.  Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future.

And as time slips forward, I find that I am stuck on the treadmill of the routine.  And if you know me, I hate to run on a treadmill, especially this one that seems to take me nowhere down the road of discipleship.  It’s been a long time, been a long time, been a lonely, lonely, lonely time.  I’ve got to rekindle my Faith Connection, revive my spirituality, refocus my attention on my Savior.  I need REVIVAL.

That word keeps popping up in my daily life.  Revival.  I need it.  My church needs it.  This community, state, country, world needs REVIVAL.  I am praying for that.  Will you join me in praying for REVIVAL?  Will you join me in refocusing out attention on things eternal?  Will you join me in renewing our commitment to follow Jesus Christ where he leads?  Together we can make a difference on this lonely planet.

And finally, sometime soon would you consider joining me for a drive?  We can crank up some Rock ‘n Roll and debate which tunes make our Top 10.  We need to do this soon, because Time keeps on Slippin’, slippin’, slippin’…..

Prayer:  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

With much Love,

Benjamin Terry Johnson